The first thing you say is
‘May I help you Ma’am?’
If she answers ‘I’m still deciding’,
well then you reply
‘Our choc-o-licious offer for today
is imported chocolate-covered cherries,
one dollar and ten cents a pound.
Would you care for a sample?’
She’ll always say yes to that,
even if she knows all she wants
is a pound and a half of chocolate raisins.
Don’t watch them while they’re sampling,
except out of the corner of your eye:
it makes them self-conscious.
‘My that was tasty’, she’ll sigh,
as she wipes the syrup off her chin.
‘How much did you say those were?’
‘One dollar and ten cents, Ma’am,
will I give you a pound or two?’
‘Well, I am trying to watch my waistline,
but I’ll take a pound and a half
of chocolate raisins.’
Then you say ‘Why Ma’am, you certainly
don’t look like you need to count your calories.’
As you’re shovelling the raisins onto the scale,
make sure she’s watching and put a little extra in;
that way, when you say ‘Will that be all?’,
she may just giggle ‘Oh I’m in a naughty mood today,
you can give me a pound of those cherries as well.’
Say ‘Yes Ma’am’ humbly, so she
won’t notice you persuaded her.